Defying the Odds- Maria Colish, Single Parent Lax Mom and Lacrosse Enthusiast

Austin Colish (Right) during the firs DeSales University Fall Ball Scrimmage

Maria Colish with her daughter Ainsley and son Austin after his last HS game.

I have met lots of lax moms over the years.  And I'm happy to say, they've come from many different places.  But the one mom who sticks in my mind as one who really has a true love for the game is Maria Colish, mom of  a 12-year old daughter Ainsley, 

Andrew aged 25 and working in CA, and Austin, the laxer.

I met Maria a couple of years ago, via Twitter.  She was one of the only lacrosse moms around who was using social media and talked about the sport.  Then I found out that she was from my home town, working-class Linden, NJ.  What was so intriguing for me was the fact that her son loved and played lacrosse, even though Linden does not offer it recreation-ally or in the schools.  However  at age 10, Austin was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and a year later with Celiac Disease. So after a few years of figuring out proper health practices, Maria knew that getting Austin involved with a sport would help with his health challenges.   Maria saw a flyer for a lacrose camp that was 45 minutes from home, so if Austin had a hard time with the sport his hometown peers would never know.  

Maria and Austin ventured out to Bernardsville which is a lacrosse "hot spot".  Austin played with boys who had been raised with lacrosse, came from families with money,  and knew the game well.  But as Maria says " on a field, things even out. It's about endurance, about drive, about guts, about passion. He felt less different, even with having to stop several times a day to test his blood sugar. He felt more in control of his Diabetes. Native Americans call lacrosse 'Medicine Game' because it is said to heal those that play. Essentially, lacrosse saved my son's life". 

Maria is a mom who wanted to help her son overcome his insecurities and  to be a part of something bigger than himself.  His health issues motivated her to travel miles away to get him playing time, but other people's ignorance fueled her passion for the game.  Austin was able to play pick up games and attended various clinics to gain lacrosse experience, but the high cost of club teams kept him from playing more frequently with higher level lacrosse players.  As difficult as it was for the Austin,  Maria wondered what boys of color with fewer resources were experiencing in terms of playing the game. In fact in 2012 Maria held a lacrosse clinic with professional lacrosse player Jonathan Christmas to introduce the game to the elementary and middle school children in Linden. Linden Leaps Lacrosse

This has encouraged  Maria and Austin's mission to bring lacrosse to the under-served. They  worked tirelessly to bring lacrosse to the Linden community in which Austin hosted a 5-week clinic as part of his Eagle Scout requirements in his senior year. 

Maria moved her family to Clark, New Jersey  so that both Ainsley and  Austin could play lacrosse in their town to gain solid school team experience. Today Austin is a freshman at DeSales University where he is an Exercise Science major and  a defenseman on their DIII Men's Lacrosse team. .  A substitute teacher at Linden High School,  Maria continues to spread the word about lacrosse on a daily basis to those who have not had the opportunity to be exposed to the game.  According to Maria "I know Austin will always be there to keep at the good fight for the next generation of undeserved youth."

Lax Mom of the Week: Pamela Burke Jenkins

I am always amazed at the parents who manage to have more than one child in a sport.  For us, it was fairly simple with two children, a six year age difference and only one who became an athlete.  Hence, the Lax Mom of the Week is Pamela Burke Jenkins.  Wife, mother of 4, and two who happen to be Division 1 athletes.  Pamela has paved the way in a sense for the lax moms of children of color in Montclair.  Although Montclair has a fifty-one year history of lacrosse with most of those years yielding diverse lacrosse teams, there really has not been lots of involvement by African-American lacrosse parents in the program.  However, Pam and her husband Glen were there when we arrived.  Their son was a stand out football and lacrosse player in Montclair and they were both very involved.  Glen with strength and agility training for both sports, and Pam with her effervescent and constant support  in the stands.  I have fond memories of sitting with Pam in the stands along side a few  moms of the opposing team who got out of hand . Pam reigned them in-quickly.  Our high school team has not played that opponent since that day. I'm not sure that her encounter was responsible, but we were all relieved that would wouldn't have to encounter those parents again.

Pam is also a tremendous encourager. She knows the ropes and never hesitates to pass along helpful information to those of us who are raising children who want to play lacrosse at the next level.  Her son Drew is now a senior at Syracuse University and is a defensive midfielder who see lots of playing time.  Her daughter Kaila is playing soccer as a freshmen at the University of Pittsburgh and has been a stand-out player this year.  Pam's older daughters were also tremendous athletes and college graduates who have gone on to pursue opportunities in the business and education arenas.   

How Does this Lacrosse Commitment Thing Work Anyway?

There are numerous questions when it comes to the college commitment of any athlete.  It is confusing, but there's lots of information on the Internet that can give you and your athlete some direction.  Just recently my son had his "Official Visit" with the college that he committed to.  

I have attached here information from Lacrosse Recruits on the difference between the "unofficial" and the "official" college visits.  This spells is out pretty clearly.  Good Luck!

http://lacrosserecruits.com/news/lacrosse/lrnews-101-unofficial-vs-official-visits/

Lax Mom of the Week

In the summer of 2007, my son was in the 7th grade and started to play summer league lacrosse. Because we always went to Montclair Varsity games, I became friendly with some of the lax moms of the players.  These women told me to get Christian involved with summer club lacrosse if he was possibly thinking of playing lacrosse at the collegiate level.  We were just trying to get him through the 7th grade, but I knew that their advice was right on point.  This meant that we had to spend a fortune on a new helmet, gloves, jerseys, shorts, and tournaments.  So we found a club that wasn't too far away, and seemed to be reasonably priced.  He went to try-outs and played for  Thunder Lacrosse which  is part of Ath-Ed Lacrosse. 

That summer we went to tournaments in New Jersey and Long Island and my son played his first summer as a defenseman.  The kids loved it and so did the parents.  It's actually where I met the Lax Mom of the Week, Laura McCarthy.  A seasoned lacrosse mom, Laura is a wife, mom of three, and a lacrosse umpire.  Her only son Danny played that summer with Christian.  Laura taught me what being a lax mom really means.  She would organize the refreshments and tents for each tournament, and she even had extra goalie equipment in her car that her son ( a midfielder) would wear if we needed a goalie!  Watching her I learned about creating spreadsheets for tournaments and having a great attitude when it came to the team.  That summer we were part of a rowdy group of lax parents who screamed and laughed through so many of those obscenely hot days.  But that was the summer that I learned what being part of a team really means for parents.  We cheered for every child and gave them words of encouragement whenever possible. 

Since then Christian has played for two other club teams and we have seen Laura and Danny on those fields as well as on our respective town teams.  This weekend our boys will play together on a team that she and I put together for a Fall Finale Tournament. 

Here is a link to an article about Laura and her son Danny and his commitment to Montclair State University
http://www.laxlessons.com/2013/10/25/danny-mccarthy/

Getting a Taste of College Lacrosse

Yesterday we traveled to St. David, PA for a Prospect Day Camp at Eastern University, a small Christian university with DIII lacrosse.  This is actually the school that my son committed to earlier in the summer.  It's a great place that I was introduced to by the women that I pray with in Moms In Prayer.  I had no idea that my son would come to love this school so much, and that we would love it too.  But after a tough season on his high school team ( little playing time, sports politics, etc)  Eastern was a welcome breath of fresh air for our whole family. We look forward to his time there starting in the Fall of 2014.

Welcome to My Lax Mom Life

I have been a lacrosse mom since 2005.  I had no idea back then that lacrosse  would literally take over our family life.  But from the time I moved to Montclair, I knew that I wanted my son to play lacrosse. We would always see the Varsity high school players running in full uniform from the school building to the field.  They looked like soldiers, ready for anything or anyone who came towards them.  That's what I wanted for my son.  An ability to stay in shape and follow a discipline that would help him grow to become a productive young man.  My husband Bryan was totally on board, although at the time he was a mainly a football and baseball fan.  Our daughter Justine played a few sports, but she was gifted in other areas of leadership and stayed away from most fields and only went to gymnasiums to work out.

Lacrosse has grown to be an incredibly popular sport, but in 2005 the only option my son had was to attend a summer clinic for 3rd and 4th graders.  He had a stick and no pads, but we sent him figuring that he would just be throwing and catching.  Little did we know that even  8 and 9 year olds at a clinic would wrestle with sticks and knock each other to the ground all in the name of getting that ground ball.  Thank goodness the coaches loaned Christian pads and he was well on his way.  But what really peeked his love of the game was his first "hit".   Actually he didn't do the hitting, but another 8 year old knocked the wind out of him and sent him flying to the ground.  It was such a tough hit, that Christian was awarded a new lacrosse stick for exhibiting courage and getting back up to play.  That was it for him.  It's a funny thing that the boy that knocked him over is one of his team mates today in high school. 

Since then, Christian has played lacrosse for so many different club teams, town teams, and the high school.  I really wish I had started this blog years ago, but he is still playing and the lacrosse tales continue.  

Join me as I chronicle our family's lacrosse adventures.  They have been wild, good, bad, ugly and fascinating.  I will also blog a bit about lacrosse life in general: summer teams/leagues, college lax, etc.  The full spectrum.  It's a great sport that's exploding and rarely do we hear the perspective of the lacrosse mom.  I look forward to posting more.  Be sure to comment, ask questions, vent, etc. 

Thanks,

laxmomjoy